man of a certain age
elder millennial, reporting for duty. born in the 80s. raised in the 90s. peaked somewhere around the early 00s. and somehow, i'm still here.
people never believe it. you're in your 40s? really?
what's your secret? they ask.
there isn't one. sleep hygiene is non-existent. i eat like trash. i imbibe in alcohol more than any doctor would recommend. could it be the moisturizer? or the faint glow of old tube televisions still humming in my bloodstream? hard to say.
but appearance isn't everything. the surface lies.
the bones know better. they creak when i stand too fast. muscles seize. headaches camp out for days. and yeah, there's a prescription bottle on the counter, keeping my blood pressure from revolting.
so no, i'm not ageless. i'm just well-lit. well preserved, like pickles in a jar. maintaining moisture, and pretending it's still 2003.